From the same company that brought you "Penis Hot Water Bottle", these plush slippers will be the talk of the town
Just yesterday, we'd brought you a story of a penis-shaped hot water bottle for the unshakable winter this season. Firebox, the very same company, has brought you yet another phallus-inspired product some people are surely going to love. Called Pierre The Penis Slippers, these slip-ons are practically two "cozy cuddly penises" to wear around your feet. You need to note that there is a bit of a warning that you should probably take seriously. While the seller calls it the "most hilarious slipper in the world", they warn you not to "tread on the balls too much" because you guessed it, "they're sensitive".
In case you are considering it, the slippers are available from sizes 7 to 12 in the UK - sizes 40 to 45 in the US - and are priced at slightly over $37. "Plunge your frozen plates of meat into these cozy, plush replicas of nature’s warmest external organ," the description reads. They ask for users to go gently because the slippers may be durable but the "area of the body isn't keen on rogue kicks." Having sacrificed on being stylish, the soft penises are super-plush and keeps your feet warm while offering endless topics to mull over slipper-based banter. "Don’t laugh," the company scolds, because the slippers "look better than those granddad-style tartan moccasins you used to schlep about the house in." Purpose-built, the slippers aren't likely to win you any fashion awards but are sure going to keep your toes warm and cozy. "In fact, your feet will be so warm," they promise, "that you won’t have to press them up against your partner in bed and freeze their limbs to death with your chilly extremities in an attempt to thaw them."
The website has built a hilarious reputation for selling the quirkiest of products which certainly make people question the absurdness of it all, whilst offering some great comic relief. With the tagline "Shop For The Unusual", the site brings dozens of other products for the phallus enthusiasts. For just over $10, you can buy "World's Smallest Pierre The Penis" or probably work yourself up to "Giant Pierre The Penis" who is humongous and is also the "cuddliest, cutest penis you’ll ever see." It's not just the products, Firebox also has great customer service, given the 4.6 rating it has out of over 3,500 customers. "Out of all the places I have bought from, this is the best customer service I have ever seen and dealt with," a happy customer who chose to be anonymous wrote. "There were a lot of problems with the delivery of my order but they helped me through every step and made sure I don’t lose any money. I would definitely recommend and I would shop here again."
For those in the mood to explore their inventory, there is '100 Ways To Eat Cock', which, surprisingly, isn't what it seems going by their cheeky reputation. It is a cookbook with a century of chicken recipes. "Contrary to popular belief there is more than one way to stuff your face with a big juicy cock," a description read, in their typical outrageous fashion. "There are in fact 100 Ways To Eat Cock. Don't Google them though (seriously), this cheeky set of recipe cards will reveal all. Bulging with deliciously-hilarious cock delicacies including: Cock-Porn, Bacon-wrapped Cock, Cock Caesar Pasta Salad." They claim the book will be the perfect gift "for the cock-curious chef."