A shocked and traumatized Ishita went to her roommate to tell her what happened. She was told that this is what happens to people when they drink.
Misogynistic men just can't handle rejection, nor their throbbing, unused balls. A woman from India has opened up to reveal that she was sexually assaulted by a male friend twice, a friend being the keyword there. He's someone she's known for years. Ishita Gupta, 25, from Mumbai, was attending a conference in Bengaluru when she decided to go out for drinks with her friend in the evening and was at the maile friend's accommodation after with another friend.
I got drunk and sexually assaulted by a male friend. When I told my roommate, who was present at the time, she said 'this happens when you're drunk na' and then half an hour later made out with him on a bed while I pretended to sleep on the floor. I've never recovered. https://t.co/yiWQ5xg8mZ— Dissentery (@ButImCold) February 5, 2020
According to Daily Mail, the counseling psychologist told how she was "quite drunk". Her roommate had passed out, and the guy assumed Ishita had, too, so he put his hands inside her pants. She immediately pushed him aside and took her friend to the bathroom to tell her what had happened. However, her reply shocked her. Ishita's roommate told her that this was normal and to be expected because they were drunk. She then went on to have sex with the offender, right in front of Ishita, leaving her shocked and traumatized as she lay on the floor until morning. She decided to confront her abuser via text message, but he gaslighted her, denying it all. He even went to the extent to say that Ishita made it all up.
The part I haven't recovered from yet is the assault itself, and the deep feeling of fear of being violated again if I'm not careful enough.— Dissentery (@ButImCold) February 5, 2020
Ishita then took to Twitter to share her story. She doesn't have a huge following, but she found it important to speak about it. "It's not normal, but it's common," she said. "I thought I was dealing with this alright, but the last couple of years have been really hard for me. I struggled and I don't really have a solution, but at least I can talk about it." The incident took place in December 2017, when she was just 23 and she says it's had a profound impact on her, especially because she was in an abusive relationship before that. "I feel like over a period of time it affected my mental health - I get trauma counseling for it now," she explained.
I've forgiven her. In my eyes, she's not the horrible villainous character in the story, the man is.— Dissentery (@ButImCold) February 5, 2020
She did something fucked up, and it's my prerogative about whether I want to bear anger/resentment towards her or not. I'd appreciate it if people would stop telling me what to do
"It's made things difficult for me; I have a hard time in my relationship, and I have developed vaginismus". It is a condition where the vagina involuntarily tightens whenever penetration is attempted, causing a great deal of discomfort. She went on to explain what exactly happened. "We were watching TV on his bed and my friend passed out, and I was trying to wake her up. I was in and out of consciousness myself, and I remember at some point when I was half asleep, thinking "It's really late and we should get going but I'm really tired" - and my male friend stuck his hand down my pants."
I feel like this was a very clickbaity tweet, so I want to add to what happened after. I had a huge meltdown the day after the incident, and she helped me get to a doctor and to feel safe. She very tearfully apologized to me, and I still believe she was genuinely remorseful. https://t.co/6X9n4wRUi3— Dissentery (@ButImCold) February 5, 2020
"He didn't know I was awake and he started feeling around. I just quietly lay there and waited for it to be over because I didn't want to confront him and have that conversation." However, she thought it was an accident, and so the same thing happened the next day as well. They went to the conference, and then to the pub. Later they headed to his room again. This time Ishita said her abuser had "grown in confidence" and was more "grabby" when he shoved his hand into her underwear. "It was more pushy, there was more pressure," she recalled. "I pretended to be asleep again, but at some point, I said, "This is not OK," and I woke up."
i am so sorry about this. especially how you couldn’t even confide in someone. i’m sorry. if you need anything, even someone to talk to, please please feel free to dm— the fight continues (@Seimonee) February 5, 2020
"This sounds strange but I've had an ex who was sexually abusive to me and any time something like this happens, my brain and my body just shut down. The only thing I could think of was, 'Just, lie here, close your eyes and wait for it to be over.'" The next morning, they headed back to their hotel where Ishita suffered a huge meltdown. A week later, after both women had been on separate vacations, Ishita said her friend broke down and apologized for what had happened. She did not report him because he was leaving for the US the following day and knew that even if she did contact the cops, he would be out of the country by the time they went looking for him. "He was a really good friend of mine. I don't really know what happened."
I am so sorry you had to go thru this. It's not your fault. Dont know how to repair the trauma for you. But just want u to know that you are not alone .— Raag Darbaari (@ragdarbaari) February 6, 2020
Now, Ishita only goes out with her female friends from school and her boyfriend. She added that she was pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of praise and support she received from strangers when she spoke out on social media. "The week before I talked about what happened in the tweet, I was feeling very lonely not being able to talk about it. It's such a big part of my life and what's going on," she added. "A lot of what I talk about online, mental health-wise and sexual assault-wise, is so somebody else knows that other people are talking about things like this."
I dont know if it is me or..But India with all its "modernism" has fully messed it up (cant generalise but seems true from twtr atleast. Feel for the teenagers&younger generation. The way it is going now, I fear would take any intentions of being in a long term/married relation.— absolutemystery (@absolutemyster1) February 5, 2020