This honestly is the perfect holiday gift!
There is nothing more comforting than a hot water bottle to snuggle to during the cold weather. So, for this year, you could gift someone a hot water bottle. The thing is, this is not just any hot water bottle, this is one that comes shaped like a penis. Yep, that's right. Available on Firebox, the Penis Hot Water Bottle is surely going to keep you warm this winter. It comes in a salmon pink color, and the hot water bottle measures 60cm in height, 39.6cm in width, and 3.8cm in diameter. Big enough, isn't it?
The description on the website reads: "Chilly at night? Not got a hunk to keep your bed warm? We feel ya. Shiver no more, frigid friend. This hot water bottle will keep you willy toasty even in the coldest of temperatures. He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick."
"He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cozy. Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems..."
The website also says that this is the "naughtiest way to keep warm." This penis-shaped hot water bottle helps you stay warm even in the most frigid of temperatures. It is also perfect for spooning or tucking down your pants, as well as an ironic way to soothe period cramps. Why would you ever need a boyfriend if you can get yourself one of these bad boys? They aren't that expensive, they come for $18 a piece. Yes, go on, place an order right away!