Doctors recommend talking to your loved ones who have passed away aloud, as it is helpful "in processing grief".
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes and we have different ways of dealing with it. Whether you've lost a friend, sibling, parent or someone else that you love dearly, the death of someone close to you can make you feel like there's this unmistakable void in your life, one that you have no idea on how to deal with it. Some of you might write notes to the one you lost, updating them about what's happening in life since they left, while some of you might just leave them a message on their social media account to remember them by.
The thing is, we all try to have a conversation with someone we've lost, and there's really nothing to worry about. Honestly, if someone's told you that this is an unhealthy coping mechanism, now's the time to shove science into their face and ask them to let you be. "Speaking out loud to a loved one who has passed — whether at a gravesite or out loud at home — is helpful for many people processing grief," Dr. Alison Forti, an assistant professor in the Department of Counseling at Wake Forest University told Teen Vogue.
"I will sometimes encourage my clients to speak to an empty chair in an effort to help them cope with grief. Many people will experience a sense of disbelief after they lose a loved one. By encouraging people to speak out loud to their loved one it helps them resolve that disbelief." Also, don't think that you're out of your mind if you feel that you saw or heard your loved one, or even feel their presence at times.
According to the Conversation, sensing someone’s presence even though they have died is totally normal. More often than not, this feeling of their presence can actually be comforting. It's actually a good thing if you've experienced it. Licensed counselor Dr. Sherrie Campbell sometimes asks her clients, as an exercise, to write letters to their deceased loved ones so that they can sort out any grievances or final thoughts, such as what the client wishes they could have said before their loved one died.
"When a relationship is ripped away from us through death, it takes the heart time to let go," Dr. Campbell told Teen Vogue. "We still have things left unsaid, emotions and experiences we want to share, things to get closure on and a place to receive or feel a sense of connection and comfort. I tell my patients, young and old, that although our loved ones may not be here in physical form, that they are right next door watching over us. We can find a sense of comfort in feeling that they are still close to us, conversations can still be had."
For everyone, grief takes time differently. Some may get over the loss of someone sooner than another person. For instance, if you lose a friend and you see your other friends coping with it better than you, it's okay. You don't have to rush. "Many people have heard of the stages of grief and make a false assumption that grief is linear,” added Dr. Forti. "However, grief comes in waves and can hit people when they least expect it. People can actively grieve, move forward in life with their grief, years go by, and the simple smell of perfume brings them back to an angry or sad moment of grieving.”