7 Signs That You Are With 'THE ONE' Even Though You Might Be Having Second Thoughts

7 Signs That You Are With 'THE ONE' Even Though You Might Be Having Second Thoughts

There are seven signs simple signs that tell you that you are with the right person. Everyone has second thoughts but that isn't a reason to run away from it all.

Having second thoughts when your relationship becomes more serious and a lot more real is normal. This shouldn't be considered as a sign for you to start withdrawing from the relationship. Every time the two of you take a big step together, there will be doubts/thoughts of uncertainty - more like a fear - in the middle of all the joy and celebration. Life would definitely be a whole lot easier if you just knew for a fact that you were dating the right person - "the one".  However, life is nothing but a series of trials and errors and this is why the uncertainty creeps into our heads every time we reach the serious point of a relationship. There really is no need to worry because having such thoughts is perfectly normal. According to experts, there are a few telling signs that you've actually met your soulmate. 

In an interview with Bustle, Annie Wright, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist and owner and clinical director of Evergreen Counseling said, "Contrary to what Disney movies, Rom Coms, and most pop songs teach us, love and being with the 'right' partner doesn't always look like fireworks or being completely certain about the other." Most of us feel a certain degree of doubt or have second thoughts instead. "It's important to know that you're not alone in this nor does this necessarily mean that your relationship is the wrong one for you," she added.

Here are seven telling signs that you need to look for.

1. The Airport Test

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If you're having second thoughts just put yourself in the airport situation. Imagine that you are at the airport with your partner and the reason you are there is to send them off knowing that you might never hear from them or see them again.  "Deeply imagine this and pay attention to the physical sensations that arise in your body," Wright says. How do you feel? 

"When we imagine into a future that doesn't involve this person, we can collect clues about how we authentically feel about this person," she says. "These feelings, combined with mindful self-reflection, time, and working on any internal or external factors that you or they may be contributing to the unhappiness of the relationship can be powerful in helping you to work through any questions and doubts you ultimately have about the relationship."

2. Feeling Secure With Your Partner

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You generally start to have second thoughts and doubts soon after the honeymoon period is over. This is generally after things start to get real and you probably know almost everything about each other. The spark you once felt while spending every single moment with them doesn't seem to be there anymore. "At some point in a relationship, everyone might wonder if they’re settling or if they can do better," Samantha Daniels, Dating Expert and Founder of Samantha's Table Matchmaking said. You know that the feelings haven't gone anywhere when you know they are the only ones you can honestly trust 100 percent. You also tend to feel completely secure around them and this is when you know that they are perfect for you. 

3. You can't really pinpoint what is wrong in the relationship

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Your second thoughts do not necessarily stem from fights or bad times in your relationships. Sometimes, they have nothing to do with the bad times whatsoever. "Thoughts are things we say to ourselves," Dr. Danielle Forshee, doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle. "Our thoughts reflect our beliefs. Thoughts are things that we say to ourselves and strongly influence how we interpret behaviors of others and our expectations." Regardless of the tiny arguments that occur from time to time, you and your partner still put in the extra effort to make each other happy at all times and there isn't really any problem in the relationship then you are just overthinking. It's always important to check yourself as your thoughts may not be in line with what is really true.

4. You're willing to work to make things better

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"There’s a natural ebb and flow to relationships, and overall, it’s the emotional connection that counts," Daniels says. Relationships require effort and if you and your partner are willing to put in that effort to make things work and keep each other happy then there's really nothing to worry about. Sometimes it isn't as evident that you are doing things for each other. You know when you realize that before making any decision you think about them first and how it would affect them or your relationship.

5. Disagreeing with each other is not a problem

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and while in a relationship there are many times partners might disagree with each other. Having disagreements in a relationship is normal, it doesn't always lead to a fight. As long as these disagreements do not make you have second thoughts about the relationship you're in a good space. However, when they do make you doubt the compatibility of the relationship, maybe you should take a step back and think about it with a clear mind before jumping to conclusions. Most times these disagreements are forgotten soon after they happen and do not really affect the relationship or define it. "It’s normal to have disagreements with your partner," Caleb Backe, Health and Wellness Expert for Maple Holistics, said. "It’s only when these turn into intense fights or arguments that you should reconsider that status of your relationship."

6. You make a great team

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Competing with each other is often fun and only helps in making your relationship stronger. However, when you're on the same team, if you're with the right person then you probably make one heck of a team! "A relationship is how two independent identities merge to form a [stronger] unit," Backe says. "It’s essential that you and your partner can work together." So if you and your partner are a team and your strengths and weaknesses complement each other, and you understand each other's style perfectly (means that you are super compatible), that's a really good sign for your relationship. 

7. Being vulnerable isn't scary

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You only know you're in the right place with the right person when you can be vulnerable with them. being vulnerable and emotional with someone else can be scary and we generally avoid being in such situations. When you feel secure and comfortable being in such a situation with your partner, you're definitely with the right person. Being in this space requires partners to not just communicate with each other but open up to each other. Letting someone in is a big step but when both of you do take that step, you just know it's for real. it does take time but you know that it is totally worth it.

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