When they pay more attention to your status instead of focusing on loving you and find the need to always bring you down, you are dating someone who only loves themselves.
Relationship status? Taken. Partner? Exists. Personality? Narcissist. Hotel? Trivago. Wait. What?!
If you focused on the narcissist part of that line, you’ve got the idea. If not, here's a gist.
A narcissist is someone who is excessively focused on their own self-interest, an overly self-involved individual who wouldn't mind trampling over the worth of others to get what they want. Or simply put, they are obsessed with themselves.
As toxic as their influence can be, they are just as skilled at masquerading as the complete opposite. So then how do you know you’re dating one? Well, if you’re confused, here are 7 signs your partner is a narcissist.
Flowers, chocolates, romantic nights, the whole shebang. Your partner has just bombed you with so much love that you might as well feel like a clichéd Disney princess. But suddenly, they decide that they’ve finished their quota of love for this relationship and drop you like a seatbelt clutch on a hot summer day. This is one of the most tell-tale signs of a narcissist. They turn to love-bombing their partners in order to boost their ego, get the attention they enjoy and give you a reason to stay.
This makes them feel like they are in control of everything. If your sense of feeling secure in the relationship depends on how they treat you, chances are, you are their puppet.
Or so they believe. If you can practically feel the waves of entitlement crashing against you, you’ve got a narcissist on your hands. They believe that they’re the best thing since sliced bread and think that everyone feels that way about them as well. Everyone is basically meant to serve things to them on a silver platter. Especially you, courtesy of the relationship you share with them.
Narcissists base their worth on the power and status they have. Status to a narcissist is like a fix to a junkie; the bigger the better, they want to be the most powerful person in the room. Fun fact, they’ll expect you to have a status almost (‘almost’ being the key word here) as good as theirs. If it’s not, I suggest popcorn while you listen to their litany of why you’re not good enough. Two benefits of this – a) you’ll have some nice popcorn and b) you may find reasons to dump them or take them to a shrink.
4. Hero Complex
‘To infinity and beyond!’ has been immortalized by your partner. If they think they hung the moon and is planning to become the real-life Batman, then you can tell that their narcissism has come out of the closet. They believe that no one can live without them or that nothing can ever be done without their input. Keep an eye out for when they start to use ‘I’ a lot – it’s like their new favorite word. Oh and don't forget to look for the halo.
5. Electrons are less negative than they are –
Misery loves company and they love spreading it around. They cannot handle criticism and are quick to throw a tantrum if things don’t go their way or if people don’t agree with them. Another way they deflect criticism is by laughing it off or making your opinions seem worthless. However, you are fair game and won’t think twice about cutting you down to size. Think a 5-year-old in a store aisle down on his stomach, throwing a tantrum because his mom wouldn’t buy him a lollipop.
Do you enjoy mind games? On yourself? Well if you have a narcissistic partner, strap in and get ready for the ride because it’s bound to leave you boggled. They manipulate you so well that you don’t realize until the consequences of it come crashing down on you. Manipulating people and you for their own benefits gives them the control which feeds their habit like the aforementioned fix to the junkie.
You’re just tired. Tired of the mood swings, the constant lack of attention, the amount of work you have to put in to keep up with your partner, the routine belittling, the hurt, and the feeling of being invisible in your own relationship. Every day you lose a bit of yourself trying to cope with the stress of standing your ground and maintaining your sanity in this relationship. Your mind is giving up and it's affecting your physical health as well.
If your partner doesn’t make the effort to give you the feeling of being loved, chances are that they are narcissistic.
Narcissism is a serious problem as it generally stems from the person feeling unloved in their childhood or if their insecurities about themselves are crippling. However, they may be unwilling to change and instead rely on those around and their power over them to feel the sense of importance. If you are dating a narcissist, then chances are it will affect your mental health as well.