Divorces unfortunately often happen when couples don't read in between the lines. Here are few overlooked reasons that can burn out your marriage
You may not realize how even the little things matter when you're in a loving relationship with your partner. Sometimes unspoken words are enough to hurt the chances of a relationship surviving. That's why honesty and communication are the two most important things that keep a relationship stronger and open to growth.
A divorce is the hardest to deal with for both, the couple and the children if you're part of a family. The demographics vary along with the reasons as to why a marriage lasts or doesn't. However, apart from common reasons why marriages fail there are quite a few that are overlooked. Here are some which count for more importance as compared to others.
Life can be difficult and several obstacles can be thrown your way. It's how you deal with these experiences that show your strength and commitment. Despite having ups and downs, it's essential to show that you'll stick by your partner no matter what. Being there for your partner during hardship shows your grit and the values you have to make the marriage work. Assumptions are the worst possible element in marriages. Even asking a simple question like 'What is it that you need?' can convey volumes to your partner.
There are definitely going to be instances where either you or your partner will be in the wrong, so be mature and understanding about the situation and hear your partner out. Forgiveness is the first step to moving forward with your partner. This might be easy to say but when your partner is in a situation that has hurt you, forgiving them and talking through the ordeal can help the marriage become stronger. When you don't communicate and relieve the hurt by yourself, it's going to affect you as well as the marriage.
Life can get busy and several things may come your way but if you can't spend an hour or two with your partner to talk about how your day went or what's on your mind, you're both creating gaps in the marriage which can be easily solved with communication. Everything starts with talking to your partner about your feelings and emotions and it's the lack which can bring the most blissful marriages into a sudden halt. “Why do we think we don’t need any skills when going into a marriage? What other job do we sign up for without any training?” asks Sharon Sadler of SOS Marriage Network.
You and your partner get together after you build a bond through friendship. Sometimes it's easy to forget the friendship you once shared when you get committed to your spouse. You become busy managing things that are required to be looked at in a marriage and in the process you lose track of the person you once used to share and have fun with in the past. You should be able to establish your partner as a friend first, after which they are your spouse or partner.
Being flexible is essential in a marriage, where you should be able to change or adapt when a situation arises. Being frigid and not allowing yourself to grow is only going to be a set back in your marriage. It also sends across the message that you're not willing to change for your partner, rather you expect them to change for you. “Even if a couple has done their due diligence and discussed and agreed on the big topics like finances and parenting styles, there needs to be room in the plans for things to change,” says Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D.
It's natural to be confused with what you want from life. Sometimes pressure from the family or society can influence the decisions or choices you make whether you like it or not. Give yourself time and space to establish what you want, that way you'll be making an informed decision and gain more from it. “My advice to overcome this is to take your time getting to know and love yourself. Understand what you like and don't like. Talk your feelings out with your partner, friends or a therapist so you don't internalize emotions. Finally, accept that you will change over time," says Jaynay C. Johnson, MFT.
It's easy to get caught up in the influence of family and friends regarding your life. In the process, you end up leaping into something you never wanted in the first place. “There's a mix of people that never explored what they like or need and there are others that go with what their family thinks is good for them. These people date those who look good on paper for the family and for a societal image" explains Jaynay C. Johnson, MFT.
When you don't communicate what you want it's difficult for your partner to establish what you want or like. You eventually start setting high expectations and when your partner doesn't meet them it leaves you feeling disappointed and hurt. “We come from different backgrounds and expect different things and never communicate that to our partners. Women never let men know how crucial security is to us. We think men should know to provide, protect, etc., but it’s rarely discussed in detail." explains Sharon Sadler.