"She blatantly disrespected me and the name my husband and I had chosen for our son. I really think she put his whole name in his Christmas gift as a jab to me, knowing I would see it."
So, for centuries now, it's been established that mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law just don't get along. We've got a lot of information to back it up, as well. However, we just don't seem to have any formula to make sure they get along. Recently, there came an issue that just shed some more light on the strained relationship. A new mom took to the internet to share a shocking issue she found out, with regard to her son's name, and it was all her mother-in-law's doings. The anonymous woman revealed that her mother-in-law had convinced her husband to change the infant's name without her knowledge while she was recovering from her C-section. If that wasn't bad enough, the fact that her son's name had been changed without her opinion was hidden from her for almost two months.
She only came to know the truth by chance. Recounting the horrifying tale of betrayal on Slate.com, the woman revealed that she was considering confronting her conniving mother-in-law and cutting all ties with her. Describing the manner in which she'd found out about her husband and mother-in-law's deceit, she wrote: My son is 2 months old, and I just discovered my husband spelled our son’s middle name as "Finlay" instead of "Finley" on all of his legal documentation.
I, of course, am furious, because I told him I was fine with the middle name but it had to be spelled Finley—and he agreed before our son was ever born. His mother even sent a Christmas gift to the middle name "Finlay," and when I made a comment to my husband he didn’t even have the decency to tell me! He just let me keep believing for two months that our son’s middle name was spelled Finley when it legally isn’t! I discovered this all when I went looking for his Social Security card and birth certificate to file them away properly. He says he regretted it as soon as the card came and has been afraid to tell me.
The woman believes the husband is equally at fault since she thinks it was wrong of him to keep something as important as this hidden from her, but the woman, who goes by the pseudonym "Mama Bear", was more upset with her mother-in-law for manipulating the baby's father. Elaborating on how her mother-in-law had pulled the sneaky name change, the woman added: Now here is where it gets tricky. Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section.
She then added that the entire conversation of convincing the baby's father happened over the phone: Keep in mind she lives a few states away, so this was all over the phone. She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would "get mad, but get over it." My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mom wanted. She thinks that "Finlay" is more masculine than "Finley."
She revealed that she has always known that her husband's mother did not like her and that the monster-in-law had a history of being manipulative. However, she'd pushed it too far when she changed Mama Bear's baby's name without her knowledge. She blatantly disrespected me and the name my husband and I had chosen for our son. I really think she put his whole name in his Christmas gift as a jab to me, knowing I would see it. She manipulated my husband into thinking it was all right to lie to me about something as serious as the spelling of our son’s name, the new mom wrote.
She also revealed that while she's holding her husband accountable for his actions, they're working on it, as a couple. However, she wants to call her MIL out on this. Do I approach her about this? Do I let my husband approach her about this? Do we approach her together? What should I say? I have no desire to have any sort of relationship with her moving forward, so I am not worried about playing nice, she stated. It is clear that this mother-in-law messed with the wrong Mama Bear.