The woman says she screamed a lot and vomited a few times, which is extremely normal, but the baby's dad felt embarrased by it.
Pregnancy is painful and ugly. It's also the most beautiful thing, to be able to bring a new life into the world. It's definitely not a sight for the weak-hearted, but most partners muster up their courage and stick through the whole thing because they know their partners are at their most vulnerable and that they need someone to be there for them. Sadly, one woman's experience in the labor room with her boyfriend was just horrible and it'll make you wonder how people can say such things during times like these. A woman took to Reddit to share the way her boyfriend shamed her for something as beautiful as childbirth.
He didn't stop at that, he even went on to call her a few vulgar names. Apparently, the man was ashamed and embarrassed by her. She started off by writing about how they've been dating for a year and that they'd had a baby boy last week. I had a natural birth and my bf was there throughout the whole process. I screamed A LOT and each time I did he whispered something like "can you stop screaming, you're really embarrassing me". I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame. When I held the midwife's hand for comfort he whispered "let go of her, stop being so embarrassing".
He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names. She spoke about how upsetting the whole thing was, especially at a time when she needed his support the most. I'm really upset about his behavior that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most. When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I'm being silly... This was her original post, and she's added a couple of updates to it. One, she mentioned that she'd spoken to her mother about the whole incident, and her mom told her to try couples counseling first - even though she agrees his behavior is wrong.
However, she knows her boyfriend isn't going to agree to get help. I really don't think he is going to listen to me when I suggest getting help but I'll try. I am also going to talk to my public health nurse, she wrote. Another update revealed that what she feared was true - that he wasn't willing to try couple's therapy. I have since tried to discuss the option of couple counseling to him but to no avail, which didn't surprise me. My mum has agreed to let me stay there until I can find a new place for myself and baby. I haven't said anything to him yet, I've been advised not to so I am still planning out how I am going to take the next step, she posted.
People were furious and appalled at the man's behavior. u/InvisibleBookend wrote: I (24F) literally shat myself (a lot 🙃) while having a contraction, then my water broke a minute after. My husband (25M) helped the nurse clean me up. Then he helped hold me up as I delivered our son. Not to mention him holding everything together at home the whole time, and constantly being present and ready to help at any moment. That is all said to assure you that your bfs behavior is NOT normal and is NOT acceptable. You're not being silly. This is a huge red flag and a big indicator of what his future behavior will be like in stressful situations. Please don't feel like you have to stay with him just because you have a baby together. You deserve better than this.
u/ppw23 shared: He sounds incredibly immature, I realize he’s young, but even so his behavior was beyond childish. Op is right in seeking counseling, even for her own peace of mind, I doubt her bf will be in the picture for her and their child, sorry I don’t want to be cruel, but this guy is out of touch with reality and raising a child will bring about real-world situations. Perhaps Op can ask him to pull his bottom lip over the top of his head and see if he screams a bit.
u/doromclosie, a social worker, added: Social worker here. Speak up now or speak up at one of her kids funerals later. I understand not wanting to rock the boat but there needs to be some type of intervention. This could be offering to take the child when she seems overwhelmed, calling her regularly to touch base and find out how shes managing or even stopping by with a plate of food to keeps an eye on what's going on. If you don't feel comfortable doing it find someone she knows well and reach out to them with your concerns.