He was told that by not picking a patient up after three days of them being discharged, they'd be sent to a facility and that's what he hoped would happen to his wife.
When someone starts to lose themselves due to an illness, it's never easy for the people around them - especially if it is a spouse. Not only do the shared responsibilities become sole, but the mammoth task of caring for the other person also falls on the partner who is well. It is understandably too much to handle, but one man took it a bit too far when it came to taking care of his cancer-stricken wife who had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He shared his side of the story on Reddit, probably hoping to gain some sympathy, but people were quick enough to point out that he wasn't deserving of the pity he was expecting.
For the past year and a half, I have had to work and then come home and do the majority of the household chores and I was also treated as the nurse. We have two sons (18M, 16M) and a daughter (15F) that help out, but it became expected of me to be their go-to parent on everything. OP went on to share how a year ago, his wife stopped being able to do anything for herself. It also seems, from his post, that she's not always lucid, and she's constantly rude and cranky (probably because she's in pain) and cries and screams hysterically. She also blames me for not being " kind" to her when I am putting my entire life on hold when I'm at home and I felt like I didn't even have an identity anymore.
The husband was tired of stepping into his wife's shoes and wanted to move her into a nursing home so he wouldn't have to be the parent/nurse anymore. But it wasn't going to be as easy as he hoped. I talked with my dad (74M) and he told me that from his understanding hospitals if you didn't pick up a patient after discharge three days later the hospital social worker would have to place them into a specialized nursing facility. A week before he shared the story on the platform, his wife had to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency and that's when he thought was the best time to try out his father's idea.
For the week I didn't have to be her nurse, I realized how much of a strain taking care of a barely lucid, and angry when she was lucid woman had become to me. I realized that I was basically being mom and dad around the house and I was so tired of doing this every single day and then waking up at 6 to go to work. When the hospital called to let him know he could take his wife home, he decided he would just leave her there. When the hospital called to say that they were going to discharge my wife and I needed to be there to receive her, I told them that I did not want to take care of her anymore.
The hospital continuously called me back and the person on the other line would beseech me to bring my wife home. However, I stood my ground and said that my wife needed to go to a professional nursing facility and said that the hospital's social workers needed to figure that out. He added that he did this because he had finally reached his limit. He also mentioned that his kids were unhappy about it all. My daughter in particular is very upset that her mom is not coming home. My sons screamed at me that they would take care of their mother 24/7 if they had to. However, I knew that the hospital social worker would do his/ her job competently and help my wife into a facility.
The thing is, it's hard, but that's why you say "in sickness and in health" as part of your vows when you get married. Agreed, he didn't sign up for this, but neither did she to be diagnosed with cancer. As a husband, the least he could have done is hire someone to take care of the woman- his wife, if it was getting too much for him. Or, if that was hard, he could have assigned bigger responsibilities to his kids and share the chores. That's what a respectful man who loved his wife would do, instead of abandoning them at the hospital because they're too lazy to take care of their sick wife.