Relationships require time and effort and when in a long distance relationship, this can be hard to give. Most such relationships tend to fail and, there are multiple reasons why.
Relationships after a point can be tiring and hard to maintain. It requires time and effort put in from both ends and sometimes can be seen as a very stressful thing. As long as you and your partner are still in love and, are determined to make it work because you know how much it is worth then things tend to ease out and that extra effort doesn’t seem like a drag. Things get a lot harder when you and your partner are not in the same country or state or city even. It is even considered as a long distance relationship if you and your partner live in the same city but a few hours away from each other and barely get to meet up. It requires a lot more effort to make such relationships work and this is when you are prone to question if it is really worth it a lot more.
The problem used to be the lack of communication and intimacy earlier but that has been resolved by the introduction of smartphones and various apps like Skype in our lives. Yes, physical proximity does help in a relationship and intimacy plays a very big part but that cannot be the only reason why long distance relationships fail. In fact, the long wait before you finally get to be alone with your partner and can go apeshit makes the sex even better and more special. Also, I’m sure mature adults who are in love can keep it in their pants.
Communication is the key to the success of any relationship and making enough time to text each other for long enough throughout the day and talking to each other over the phone every other day or night kind of makes up for it. It isn’t as good as having a face to face conversation and meeting the person but, it works. So what is it that makes it all go crashing down? Well, surprisingly the answer isn’t any different from any other relationship. Every relationship regardless of the distance crumbles when the partners fail to take things to the next level.
According to a recent survey, long-distance relationships come to an end when the relationship lacks a sense of progress. This is the same with relationships in which the partners live together or spend good amounts of time together as well. Superdrug, Online Doctor, a U.K. health service, was responsible for conducting the survey. They surveyed 1200 individuals from across the United States of America and across Europe who were either currently in long-distance relationships had successfully made it through the distance or had broken up because of the distance.
The survey involved multiple questions, all of which were focused on the reason behind which they were in a long-distance relationship, how long had they been in a long-distance relationship and how long they weren’t facing the problem of distance before this, what the partners were doing in order to make things work, and if they made it through, how they managed to. On the other hand, if they failed to make it through and were forced to end things, then the reason behind why they ended it, also, how long did the long-distance relationship last?
At the end of the survey, the results showed that 91 percent of the people had tried being in long-distance relationships. 50 percent of these relationships had failed. Interestingly, relationships that started off this way had a higher success rate as compared to relationships that turned into long-distance ones due to various circumstances. The reason for failure was not making (or not being able to make an effort to travel and meet up, feeling sexually unsatisfied, getting into constant arguments, and nature/the feeling of growing apart). This definitely takes a toll on a relationship regardless of the distance, just that the possibilities are much higher amongst those that are geographically distant.
Reports showed that the couples that made it through the distance had spent twice the amount of money on traveling to meet up. More than 50 percent of the couples that succeeded also resolved their arguments quicker than others by choosing to patch things up as quickly as possible (which took up a few hours) instead of waiting for the next day or waiting a few days. The most common reason for couples splitting ways was because they did not feel like their relationship was progressing in any way. 71 percent of women and 64 percent of the men reported that lack of progress was the reason behind calling it quits.
Relationships, regardless of the proximity between partners, need progress. This is when people have faith in them and see them going somewhere. Issues like travel expenses, the frequency of physical intimacy, and arguments can always be worked through. The problem occurs when the partners stop making an effort to continue and deepen their connection. This involves creating more emotional intimacy, learning from each other, and even exploring more as a couple. If this isn’t done, regardless of the distance between the partners, things will eventually fall apart. As humans, we all grow with time but while in a relationship it is important that the relationship grows along with us.
Partners need to review their expectations, communicate, share plans as they grow, and even adjust roles over time in order for the relationship to grow along with them. Partners need to discuss the relationship and its growth and tweak it from time to time to make it more relevant and satisfying to both of their ever-changing lives and this can help in keeping things alive. Of course, it is always easier said than done.