“When we whisper positively to ourselves it gives us a little more strength and courage so we can meet a challenging scenario head-on,” says clinical social worker and psychotherapist Lisa Ferentz.
All of us seek comfort in thinking to ourselves throughout the day. "Ooh, I love what she's wearing". "Oh, I'm hungry", "Crap, I'm super late to work". But, these are all things that we think, not speak out loud. If you're someone who agrees to disagree, then you might be helping yourself much better than you thought possible. According to an article by Reader's Digest, there are a lot of benefits to talking out loud. Lisa Ferentz, clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and author of the new book Finding Your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons From the Therapist’s Couch, says expressing your inner thoughts out loud can actually help you better at conquering the present and future.
Lisa Ferentz claims this is something all of us should start doing, and she uses this on her clients to help them develop a positive outlook about themselves and the day ahead. “There’s nothing more important than the way we talk to ourselves because that inner monologue informs in subtle and not-so-subtle ways all our subsequent thoughts, emotional states, and behavioral choices,” she says.
Basically, if you're constantly critical, then you're making it hard for yourself to see the silver lining. So, a good way to adopt a healthy mental state is to write down all the things you're grateful for and then stand in front of a mirror and read it all out. “Like anything else, once you practice and approach it from a positive place, you discover it’s quite easy to do. It guides our life whether we’re conscious of it or not,” says Ferentz.
Ferentz also advocates for people to whisper things to themselves, like pep talks or explore their thoughts before they head into what they perceive to be a potentially intimidating, threatening, or overwhelming situation.“When we whisper positively to ourselves it gives us a little more strength and courage so we can meet a challenging scenario head-on,” she says. This explains why athletes usually give themselves a pep talk ahead of a race.
This does not mean you keep the frustration in. Just like how you approach the positivity in your life, there's a way to deal with the negativity, too. “There’s definitely a value to understanding what you’re feeling whether it’s positive or negative. Saying negative thoughts out loud can be very validating,” says Ferentz. “Bringing the negative stuff you’re thinking and feeling to the surface then gives you the opportunity to reevaluate it.”
Once you speak out about what it is that's bothering you, ask yourself if it's useful to you to keep it bottled it. If not, process it the right way and let it go, because you'll actually feel relieved. It's finally a good thing to know you're not crazy. I mean, you always knew it, but now you can tell people for real. If you need to know more, you can always get Lisa's book! Lisa Ferentz's book is a huge hit on Amazon and people can't stop raving about the magic in it.
A user named Marney wrote: I adore this little book. Short focused chapters on self-care and wellness from an easy to read perspective yet deep enough to have an impact. Very universal. Love the journaling questions at the end of each chapter. This is an excellent way to get started on deeper work and I will be using it with my art therapy groups with young adults. What special find. Robyn added: Wow Lisa, you have done it again! Thank you for this great read/workbook for clients/people to use to help them have compassion, hope, and acceptance for themselves! This book is great for everyone!
Stella added: I admit that my intent to use the blessing of my current job to voluntarily seek therapy for myself and finding at least two options that work with my budget influenced my interest in this kindle book of Finding Your Ruby Slippers; Transformative Life Lessons From the Therapists Couch Lisa Ferentz and Meg Wolitzer. Fortunately, my husband is supportive of my decision and I know what type of therapy I need but still, I wanted to look at a Kindle book written from a therapy perspective. Some of the following concepts in this Kindle book; messages that a person gives to oneself about self-care and growing up what messages were received about self-care, three personal strengths to focus on, identifying things to be grateful for in one’s life and much more.