There comes a limit to what you can take and put up with. We may bend over backward for someone we love, but that's got to stop.
Two individuals get together for love. Over time, it can go one way or another. However, sometimes, things take a different turn and get bitter and create problems. It's possible that when someone decides to control us and decide what we do and what we don't, we ignore these red flags blinded by love. But it might just be a classic case of manipulation wearing the guise of love. You fail to realize just how toxic the other person is, but in retrospect, you understand the telltale signs were always there. It's hard to leave a relationship like this, but once you do, it honestly is the best thing you could do for yourself.
Honestly, you're not alone. A thread on Reddit had other people share their experiences of their own. One major opinion that people shared was how a manipulative partner turns you against your friends and family. A user wrote: "Best friend of 20 plus years is dating this horrible person who is turning him against all his friends. He now hangs out with her friends and their not really his friends. Just people he drinks with." The thing is, we don't realize it at the time because we are just so excited about the relationship and getting to know our partner's friends and family.
There's also going to be moments when they make each and every situation about them. It seems like, the whole world revolves around them and it's only their opinion that matters. We give in to that. But at the end of the day, you're being ignored, or not given enough importance as you deserve. You make subconscious choices that please the other person and you ignore your needs, and it can be something as simple as choosing a restaurant to have a nice meal at.
Then, there are people who will blame you till you admit they are right and that you were wrong. Another anonymous user commented: "My ex was always had to be right. No matter what it was, he had to be right. If I didn't like something he did or liked something he didn't, I was absolutely wrong for doing so. His idea of the facts was always the right one, even when it factually wasn't. And if we ever argued about things it was always my fault."
Another user summarized their opinion of a manipulative relationship: The signs are there with any relationship." Harsh criticism meant to put you on the defensive and get you to feel insecure rather than genuine concern. Always the victim in any given situation. Lashes out at you over perceived slights. Refuses to change behaviors that hurt/make you uncomfortable. Gift giving and tallying up favors they did for you and using those as leverage in arguments."
"They don't like you hanging out with others, especially those of whatever gender that you would date." To keep the relationship alive, you bid goodbye to your social life (which you have knowingly/unknowingly worked very hard to build) and spend most of your time with your partner. The problem arises when they have something to do, you don't know how to deal with the loneliness, because you have no friends to turn to. "Isolation means fewer people to turn to and to give you perspective on how abusive their behaviors are, also just general jealousy. "
Sometimes. they also talk ill about other people. Personally, I feel its because they think that everyone else is just beneath them and that they know it all. No one is good enough for them and they are just doing the world a favor by existing. They also give no importance to the way you feel. A user added: "Constantly invalidating your feelings. Telling you that you have no reason to be upset about something, or that you shouldn't be angry, or that any feeling you're feeling is irrational. Eventually, you start to just believe that anything you feel is wrong and needs to be hidden and suppressed." There comes a limit to what you can take and put up with. We may bend over backwards for someone we love, but that's got to stop.