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Alyssa Milano Had Two Abortions In Her 20s: "I Wasn't Ready To Be A Mother"

Alyssa Milano Had Two Abortions In Her 20s: "I Wasn't Ready To Be A Mother"

Milano chose to reveal the choices of her past at a time where a wave of restrictive abortion laws has recently been passed by legislators. This, in turn, prompted other celebrities to speak out about their own abortion stories to help end the stigma. 

Alyssa Milano recently opened about some difficult choices she had to make nearly 25 years ago. In the latest episode of her podcast, Alyssa Milano: Sorry Not Sorry, the actress opened up about how she chose to have two abortions, which she says happened twice in 1993, within months of one another, when she was in her early 20s, reports People.  46-year-old Milano said, "I knew at that time, I was not equipped to be a mother, and so I chose to have an abortion. I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me."


 
 
 
 
 
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Milano who has two children (Elizabeth, 4 and Milo 7) with husband Dave Bugliari said, "It was not an easy choice.  It was not something I wanted, but it was something that I needed like most health care is." Milano chose to reveal the choices of her past particularly at a time where a wave of restrictive abortion laws has recently been passed by legislators. This, in turn, prompted other celebrities to speak out about their own abortion stories to help end the stigma. 


 
 
 
 
 
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The actress revealed that she was in a serious relationship with her boyfriend and on birth control when she first learned she was pregnant. "I was in love for the first time, in the breathless way you can only be in love when you are young. It was huge, overwhelming even. It filled every part of living. And it was a joyful and exciting and powerful time in my life."


 
 
 
 
 
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But she "was not ready to be a parent," Milano added. At the time, Milano was just a year into Who’s The Boss, a sitcom that helped her rise to stardom. The series initially premiered in 1984. She was also a part of other TV films,  like 1993’s Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story in which she portrayed Amy Fisher. "I had a career and a future and potential," she explained.


 
 
 
 
 
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Apart from her desire to not be a mother and focus on her career as an actor, she also revealed that she was on Accutane acne medicine, which could cause birth defects in pregnancies. She said she also "suffered from sometimes crippling anxiety." Though it wasn't an easy choice for her to make, all of these decisions were what led her to get an abortion. "It was devastating," she remembered.


 
 
 
 
 
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"I was raised Catholic and was suddenly put in conflict with my faith. A faith I was coming to realize empowered only men to make every single decision about what was allowed and what was not allowed." After her procedure, Milano continued "to enjoy a sexual relationship with the man I loved" because "sexually connecting with my partner gave me pleasure," she said on her podcast.


 
 
 
 
 
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"I refuse to allow anyone else’s bulls*it morality to force me into a life of pre-marital celibacy. I refuse to live in the narrative that sexual pleasure is for men and that women exist to deliver that pleasure. My body gives me pleasure," Milano said. "Nobody will say that he was at fault for enjoying sex with me, but you can be damned sure that the men enacting these laws think less of me for deriving the same pleasure from him."


 
 
 
 
 
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Though she did not stop using birth control, a few months after the procedure, she learned that she was pregnant again. By then, her dreams and desires hadn't changed, so yet again, she made the decision to abort the pregnancy. "I had done what I knew to do to prevent pregnancy and was still pregnant, so once again I made the right decision to end that pregnancy," she said.


 
 
 
 
 
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Now, Milano says she looks back at the choices she made, without regret. "I would not have my children — my beautiful, perfect, loving, kind and inquisitive children who have a mother who was so very, very ready for them," she said. "I would not have my career. I would not have the ability or platform I use to fight against oppression with all my heart," she continued. "I would never have met my amazing husband, David, whose steadfast and immeasurable love for me sustains me through these terrifying times."


 
 
 
 
 
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"Fifteen years after that first love had fizzled, my life would be completely lacking all its great joys," she added. "I would never have been free to be myself — and that’s what this fight is all about: freedom. Freedom from oppression. Freedom for women to have the audacity to be equally sexual beings as men. Freedom for women to live the life they were meant to have, not just the life that is thrust upon them by a pregnancy that cannot exist in their life."


 
 
 
 
 
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