He added that she had mentioned wanting a baby often, and he had even been "trying" to have one with her, but hadn't told her the truth.
When you try to get pregnant but fail to see results after a while, your mind is overwhelmed wondering what exactly is wrong. The longer it takes, the sense of fear and panic that engulfs you is stronger. A woman who was trying to get pregnant with her husband was really heartbroken to see negative test results time after time. She probably wondered if there was something wrong with her, but what she didn't know was that her results were negative because of her husband. He knew exactly why they were— he got a vasectomy a while ago.
To make matters worse, his ex-wife was aware of that information. The husband took to Reddit to share his dilemma, saying that he has been married to his current wife for two years, and naturally, she mentioned that she wanted to have a baby with him. He said that she mentioned it often and had also been "trying" to expand their family. Despite his wife's best efforts, however, the chances of her actually getting pregnant were slim-to-none because he hadn't told her about his vasectomy. Things got complicated when his ex-wife came over to drop off their kids.
The man wrote that she had come to drop off their children aged 9, 5, and 4. Then, the topic changed to babies, as his ex-wife was pregnant too, and she started talking to his current wife about it. They discussed everything from the baby's gender to future plans, and that was when his current wife decided to announce that they had been trying for a baby, too. Now my ex knows that I’ve been fixed as I did so after our youngest was born, he wrote. If it were me and I had withheld such life-altering information from my wife, now's the moment I'd have a panic attack about potentially being caught in a lie!
Well, my wife says “I can’t wait to be pregnant, we’ve been trying to have a baby with no luck but it will happen when God allows it” my ex just smiled and she then looked at me and I knew what she was thinking with the look she gave me, he added. His ex-wife later sent him a message telling him that he had to let his wife know about the situation because she had no idea about this and she really wanted a baby with him. Honestly, it's a bit cruel not to let her know and keep her hopes high.
Thankfully, fellow Redditors seemed to think the same. One user wrote: The fact that he didn’t tell her before he married her and let her believe she could have a baby with him is the most fucked up part. And here he is asking is it’s bad not to tell her now. Dude. You should’ve told her before you married her.
Another shared: That's exactly what I was thinking. This is going to fuck with her mental health so much. Someone who wants to be a mom that badly? She's almost certainly going to blame herself. And I can't help but wonder if OP (assuming he's not a troll) would let her just believe it's her who has fertility issues, or if he would finally fess up. A third added: Seriously! Dealing with infertility is the hardest thing I've dealt with in my life. And that is with an extremely supportive husband. You can't help feeling broken and like you failed as a woman. It's taken me years to accept the fact that to have a baby it will take a lot of medicine and doctor visits. I couldn't imagine finding out my husband willingly kept something this important a secret. YTA and you're poor wife will have to deal with so much shit when she finds out. My heart aches for her.