A distraught Redditor asked peers for advice regarding a unique dilemma — was he wrong to skip his own wedding to be with a beloved mother figure?
Life can present you with extremely hard choices, and the actions you take generally result in at least one party being left disappointed. But sometimes, the choice in itself is actually very easy. Redditor u/Wontletitgo99 shared one such dilemma recently, asking peers to give their verdict — was he an asshole for skipping his own wedding to take care of a beloved family member? The distraught Redditor explained his situation on r/AmITheAsshole, saying that the incident occurred five months ago, but that he was asking the internet for advice because his ex-fiancée (who is still his girlfriend) refuses to move on. The Redditor he was engaged to be married five months ago, but that his grandmother, whom he considered his "real mother", suddenly fell ill a few days before the wedding. The Redditor was told that his grandmother would probably pass away in the next few days, and promptly rushed to be by her side in her final moments.
According to the Redditor, circumstances resulted in him staying at his grandmother's side right up until his wedding day. He called his fiancée to try to postpone the wedding. However, the Redditor's then-fiancée took umbrage at the situation, saying that there was no point in him even being there since his grandmother had dementia and possibly wouldn't even know. The OP's grandmother passed away on his wedding night, and his fiancée gave him the silent treatment for two weeks, saying that she felt humiliated and should have taken top priority.
The Redditor explained that he felt weddings could be postponed and that it was more important for him to be with a person who was essentially a mother to him. To solve the dilemma, he put forth the question to other Redditors to help him find a verdict. Unsurprisingly, a vast majority of respondents deemed him "not the asshole" in this situation. Several wondered why he was still with his girlfriend and condemned her actions as deeply selfish.
One helpful person pointed out that wedding insurance existed for this exact circumstance.
Others advised the Redditor to break up with his girlfriend, saying that she didn't give him the same kind of importance that she expected for herself. Many said that if OP had, in fact, made it back for his wedding under duress, he'd have regretted it for the rest of his life and that every anniversary would be a painful reminder.
Some also pointed out the lack of empathy in the girlfriend thinking that the grandmother would not recognize OP due to his dementia. "Don't doubt that some part of her recognized you," one commenter assured, adding that the fiancée not being able to empathize with the loss of a mother figure was a massive red flag. "Why are you still with her," another person said.