Two days before the wedding, a bride-to-be decides to leave her fiancé after learning about this gross tradition.
Now, every family has its own weird set of traditions when it comes to marriages. But none of them can come anywhere close to what one Reddit user had to face. And even if you think that you're prepared to handle the weirdness involved in this story, better embrace yourself before it hits you. After being faced with a dilemma, a troubled bride-to-be took to Reddit's relationship advice forum just two days before her big day. Sharing her thoughts, user FarReference3 explained that her fiancé's family had this weird tradition where the father-in-law would be examining the bride's private parts to make sure that her hymen is intact and that she indeed is a "pure" virgin. Umm...What century are we living in again?
She wrote: My fiance proposed to me about 8 months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love. I am a virgin and so is he, he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn't fussed so I agreed to saving it. He has told me earlier that in his family the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke. No turns out he was dead serious. He wants me, the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing so his dad can check me while him, his brothers and uncle can watch so that they know I am still 'pure'. I told him fat chance I am going to do that and he was begging to me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic tbh.
First of all, a vagina's hymen can break, tear, or pop due to multiple reasons including accidents and participation in strenuous activities such as sports. So, if someone still believes that checking the presence of the hymen is the best way to determine one's virginity, then I'm sorry to disappoint you but it's biologically incorrect. Secondly, I'm sure you have a clear idea of how this "virginity test" would be performed on a woman, but the same cannot be applied to the men, hence no way to prove if at all they are "pure" or not, right? Howcome only women are subjected to this gross and demeaning practice? Why do people expect women to conform to such standards of purity and not men? Finally, it's definitely not okay for someone to pressurize their partners into doing something they are not willing to. Thankfully, many Reddit users pointed out these red flags and adviced FarReference3 to not go through with this wedding.
Busters-Hand wrote: OP- run and get far away. This only gets worse. I know more than one person that fell into this type of “family”. Get out now, once you have successfully produced a child it will be 100 times harder to leave. This is only the beginning, a test of your willpower. Say yes to this and they will expect your undying loyalty and participation in many more rituals. Cut them out of your life. Yes it will hurt. Yes you may have to move to get away and let the hurt subside. Ask yourself this- would you want your future daughter to have purity inspections by granddaddy? You are not the only one that’s going to get purity checks.
Fortunately, the Reddit user took all the comments into consideration and in an update posted what followed. She wrote: I went and talked to him this morning I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen and accused me about lying about my virginity. I was trying to be calm and rational but he was not having it and just became more and more angry. I told him if he really loved me he would stand by me on this and tell his father no to which he slapped me and said he didnt need to prove anything.
so I ended it and left him. I am currently back at my friends house being miserable and eating pizza which is pretty fun.
My fiance wants me to open my legs up in a small ceremony so his dad can check if I am still 'pure'while him, his brothers and uncle can watch