In her upcoming docuseries, Lovato reveals that the culprit was someone she "had to see all the time" even after the alleged attack.
Trigger Warning: Sexual assault, rape
In a shocking revelation, Demi Lovato said that she was sexually assaulted when she was in her teen years. "I lost my virginity in a rape," said the 28-year-old singer in her new documentary series on Youtube Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil, which premiered on Tuesday at SXSW. This is the first time, the Sorry Not Sorry singer has publicly opened up about being raped as it took her a long to process the trauma that came with the heartbreaking incident. Lovato claimed in the documentary that the alleged rape happened when she was just 15. It was the time when the singing sensation was the star of Disney Channel's Camp Rock and Sonny With a Chance.
It was in the late 2000s when the incident occurred and Lovato says that the person who allegedly raped her was someone she "had to see all the time" even after the attack, reports National Post. According to TMZ, Lovato revealed that she reached out to the person a month following the alleged rape in the hopes of making "it right by being in control" but "all it did was make me feel worse." She added that her rapist did not face any implication. On the day of her sexual attack, she was "hooking up" with the person, however, was not "ready" at the time for sexual intimacy.
Detailing the traumatic encounter, she said, "We were hooking up but I said, 'Hey, this is not going any farther, I’m a virgin, and I don’t want to lose it this way.' And that didn’t matter to them, they did it anyway. And I internalized it and I told myself it was my fault because I still went in the room with him. I still hooked up with him." Although she did not identify the attacker or mention when or where the incident happened, she did note that the revolting episode took place when she was a "part of the Disney crowd" that claimed none of them were going to have sex until marriage.
She went on to refer to the purity rings, which were symbolic jewelry of one's decision to get into sexual relationships after marriage. Per reports, Disney stars like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Nick, and Joe Jonas too wore those rings temporarily in the late 2000s. "I was part of that Disney crowd that publicly said they were waiting until marriage. I didn’t have the romantic first time," recalled the singer sadly. "That was not it for me — that sucked. Then I had to see this person all the time, so I stopped eating and coped in other ways."
Back in 2018, Lovato was raped by her drug dealer during her near-fatal overdose. She had to be rushed to Cedars-Sinai medical center in Los Angeles, reported The Guardian. "I remembered him lying on top of me, so I said, 'yes.' It wasn’t until maybe a month after my overdose that I realized, 'Hey, you weren’t in any state of mind to make a consensual decision," she said. "That kind of trauma doesn’t go away overnight." Both the incidents of rape "were textbook trauma re-enactments, and I really beat myself up for years which is why I had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact it was a rape when it happened."
With the added pressure of sustaining "an image of purity" the singer could not come to terms with the fact that she had been raped. This led to bulimia and her self-inflicted violence. "The Christian, southern girl in me didn’t see it that way because sex was not normalized as a child or in the south," she said, per The Guardian. "And, you know what, fuck it, I’m just gonna say it: my #MeToo story is me telling somebody that someone did this to me, and they never got in trouble for it. They never got taken out of the movie they were in." And now she decided to speak about the trauma because "everyone that that happens to should absolutely speak their voice if they can and feel comfortable doing so."
The docuseries premieres on March 23 on YouTube TV.