The father acknowledges that he might have touched a sore spot, but maintains that he had the best intentions at heart.
Body-shaming is a worldwide epidemic. Its occurrence is frequent and unnecessary. Being overweight or underweight might not be a cause for concern to the person, but somehow, it becomes the business of those around them. Everyone seems to have opinions, advice, and suggestions to gain/lose weight. Recently, a man took to Reddit to ask users if he was wrong to offer his daughter some life advice. He wrote that he lives at home with his wife and his 24-year-old daughter who recently moved back home after completing college. He mentioned that his daughter is overweight (5'3" and about 200 lbs), and she talks about how she wants a boyfriend but never had one.
Bearing the best intentions at heart, the distraught father wrote, "The other day she was going on a long rant about this at the dinner table. She was saying that it's unfair that all her friends have boyfriends and get attention from guys, and how guys are "di**s" who never give her the time of day. She's gone on similar rants before, where she acts like it is inexplicable why she is not getting the same attention. "
He tried to explain to her in a very delicate manner that it might help if she tries to lose some weight. He tried to tell her that unfortunately, some people are still shallow and their first impression of a person is solely based on the way they look. He then added that by shedding some of those extra kilos, she could "feel more confident, and also generally be healthier," while getting some male attention.
However, she misjudged his intentions. She got riled up and yelled at her dad for saying something like that. He said, "She yelled at me about how "all guys are the same, even my fu**ing dad" and stormed off. I was genuinely trying to be helpful, and I knew it would be a sore spot but in my mind my intentions were good." He was not only regretful but also perplexed about what he did. He went on to say, "Now I am wondering whether I crossed a line."
He shared some more information about his daughter so that Reddit users could judge of the situation. "She has no genetic predisposition to being overweight (nobody else in the family is), she has no condition that I am aware of, but rather she eats quite a bit and does not get much exercise. I have tried to encourage her to come for a run with me, and to give her healthy food options, but have never explicitly spoken to her about her weight before this."
One thing that I do understand is that weight can be a sensitive spot for some people. When one is already insecure about their appearance, an external comment only rubs salt on their wounds. In this case, unfortunately, the father is right about people being shallow. Many care only about the physical appearance and are ashamed to be seen with anyone who isn't close to the conventional and commercial definition of beauty. While many parents, institutions and support groups take initiatives to help victims of body-shaming, we hope that times change and physical appearance isn't a factor strongly considered when it comes to a romantic relationship.