It is a wake-up call for parents who choose to throw around worlds carelessly without giving much thought about how much their children are affected by it.
Being a parent can be rewarding in several ways but it's never without a challenge. Your kid may mean the world to you but that doesn't stop them from being their mischievous selves. Often their naughtiness successfully drives you crazy and when that happens it's never a pretty picture. Screaming and yelling at them seems like a natural reaction after a certain point but what hurts kids the most is when parents carelessly throw around hurtful words. They seldom realize how impactful on the child these accidental words can be.
According to a recent report, a child felt the need to write a letter to his parents just to let them know that he does not like to be called "stupid." In a gutting letter, the kid pleads to his parents to not use "bad words" to describe him, painfully agreeing to the idea that some things he does could categorize him as "stupid". The letter begins with him expressing his dislike for the word his parents use for him. 'I don’t like that if I do a mistake, you call me bad words like Stupid. Please don’t call me bad words even though I deserve it. I don’t like it at all' the letter reads.
Even after being called such hurtful things, the kid went on to express his love for them. 'I love you and all but sometimes you [are] just a bit rough. This is how innocent kids are! Although parents scold their kids with their best interest in mind, blurting out such thoughtless words could leave a lasting impression on their hearts. One can disciple their kids without being too mean and that's a fact you cannot deny. the letter ends with an apology: I am sorry that you are feeling down because of me and I will try my best to make you happy.
After reading this letter one can easily sense how guilty the kid feels. He even owns up to his own mistakes and decides to put the blame upon himself. Now, how fair is it for such a small kid like him to shoulder the responsibility for his parents' unhappiness? While many think that labeling their kids using hurtful adjectives isn't that big a deal, it actually is very damaging to their personality. Kids start believing the things a ration figure of authority such as their mother or father keeps saying. In this case, if they are continuously labeled as "stupid" it does make them weaker intellectually then the others.
Melanie Greenberg, a clinical psychologist told Psychology Today, "Kids internalize these negative labels and begin to see themselves as 'not good enough'." In addition to that, she indicated that no matter what situation one finds themselves in, the answer can never be injecting demotivational words. Although there are times when parents are way too stressed out to deal with their mischevious kids, it's always important to refrain from using such words around kids carelessly.
There is always a better and a more rational way to handle things and the same applies to this. Greenberg suggests parents calm themselves down and have a meaningful conversation with their misbehaving kids instead of using bad language which could hurt them more than parents mean to. "It is important to take some time to connect with your own feelings and calm down using deep breathing or self-talk before letting these emotions leak and derail your communication with your kid," she advises.
This letter serves as a great example of how kids feel when we tend to blurt out words that are totally uncalled for. To us, it might not seem like a big deal, but for them, it's surely something serious that could manifest into an ugly thing in their mind. In order to avoid such a thing, we always need to think about the after effects of the things we say before saying them out loud! This surely is a wake-up call for all those parents who tend to define their kids solely based on their actions.