The bride-to-be suggested that her cousin leaves her husband home so she doesn't have the "burden of having to look after" him.
No matter how bad things get, one can always rely on their family because they are more understanding and accepting of you. But when they turn out to be judgemental in a way that it not only hurts you but also insults your significant other, the pain is unlike any other. Redditor Kaiahi, who found herself in a similar situation, turned to the "Relationship Advice" sub-platform and shared the details in a now-deleted post. The OP cuts right to the chase and writes: My cousin (34F) was due to have her wedding earlier this year. It was postponed because of current events. She lives overseas and we had booked plane tickets to go to it. About three months before her wedding she messages me (36F) and suggests that I leave my husband (37M) at home because she, ‘doesn’t want me to have the burden of having to look after someone’ then she followed it up with, ‘I’m saying this with love’.
Understandably, she was left quite hurt by her cousin's suggestion and now was unsure if she wanted to attend the event. According to iheartintelligence, she continued, I was extremely hurt by this comment especially as it was full of judgement and not love. No one else is being asked to leave their partners at home. I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t want to ruin her big day, so I let it go. I did, however, tell her that my husband was not a burden and I’m sure she wouldn’t say that about her fiancee. She dropped it. Explaining the reason why she just couldn't cancel the plan, the 36-year-old revealed that she had a very close relationship with her cousin's parents who had done a lot for her in the past.
Now we have a flight credit and her wedding has been rescheduled. Her parents have done a lot for me (let me live with them etc.) and I’m very close to her sister. However, I really don’t want to go because of what she did, she wrote, adding that her husband would be very upset if he found out about the troubling exchange. Hoping to get some clarity on the matter, the OP wrote: So, what should I do? And if I don’t go, what should I tell her and my husband? To be clear, I never told my husband what she said. He loves my family and it would hurt him so much. Also, if it matters, my husband has cerebral palsy and uses crutches to walk. Thank you so much.
User seolarmoon suggested talking to her cousin. Wedding or not, she needs to take responsibility for what she said. She’s a grown ass adult and if she’s going to dish it out, then she needs to take it too. Tell her that the statement was uncalled for and inappropriate jab to your marriage and that for you to attend her wedding, she needs to apologize. I would talk to your husband because I think he should be in on it because it involves him too. You can’t protect him from everything and he’s your equal as a partner. (I’m sorry if it sounds unwarranted to make that statement, I have no clue what your marriage is like so call me out if you think I’m overstepping), they wrote.
Another advised her to "stay home," while Redditor nickis84 said that OP should "use the flight credit to take hubby on a vacation" and "When your aunt/uncle ask you why you're not going. Forward them the message from the bridezilla." User Eusie1968 shared: If you want to be ever so slightly petty, send her a nice card with a donation made in her and her new husband's name to United Ability, the Cerebral Palsy Foundation, or another charity of your choice. I only suggest that because I AM a very petty person. You seem to be more compassionate and kind.