"I told her I wasn't going to argue about it and if she wants her stepdad to walk her she can, but I won't be there to see it."
Weddings are a special occasion and everyone comes together to celebrate the union of two people in love. It's a tradition for the bride to have her father walk her down the aisle and then hand her over to her husband-to-be who is waiting for her at the altar. While the practice is a bit dated and tied to the age of the dowry, it still plays a part in many weddings. However, one bride-to-be wanted to walk down the aisle with her father and her stepfather in tow. However, Reddit user anonymous150000 was not really comfortable with the request from his daughter, even though he knew she was quite close to her stepfather. He also mentioned he and his wife had separated when the girl was only 6-years-old.
He wrote: My wife and I divorced when my daughter was 6 years old, and my wife had custody of my daughter for the most part since I was too busy working 50 hours a week, she quickly moved on to be with another man 7 years younger than her. I knew from many stories I've heard that my daughter would probably end up being closer to him than me, since not only was our time together very limited but he was a stay at home dad, which means they had plenty of time to bond together which makes me feel sick to this day.
However, the man seemed to carry around a lot of insecurities with him, even though he left his wife and child for good. This may sound immature but I made her promise to never ever call her stepdad(dad), that I was her only father and to not betray me. But I have no control over what she or they do in their home. Fast forward to now my prediction came through and she's obviously closer to her stepdad than me.
The child obviously grew up and she wanted to take the next big step in her life: She has gotten engaged about a year ago and now that the wedding is approaching near(1 month or so) she's now out of the blue told me that she wants both me and her stepdad to walk her down the aisle after promising me I would be the one to do it. Even though I know they're very close, I don't believe he has any right to walk my blood daughter down the aisle.
He was heartbroken that she wanted to share that one moment with her stepfather: I am her only father, it isn't fair that he got to be with my daughter more than me, her biological dad, and now he wants to take this moment from me too. I got a bit angry and told her I absolutely will not share an honor that is meant for me the actual father of the bride with some guy I barely know. She told me he's done a lot for her growing up and that I'm being petty over something that happened years ago.
But, he had his own decisions, and he wasn't going to change his mind, however hard it was on the daughter: I told her I wasn't going to argue about it and if she wants her stepdad to walk her she can, but I won't be there to see it. I was told by a friend of mine who uses this site quite often that many people have gone through something similar to this with their kids or parents, so I wanted to see other people's perspective, on if it's wrong for me to want to be the only one to walk my only daughter down the aisle.
Unsurprisingly, people seemed to think the father was being really unreasonable. One user wrote: Yeah the "I'm half the reason she's alive" comment he made just shows he is suffering from some severe toxic masculinity and ownership hookup. My old man was the same for a long time, and until he accepted that my stepdad was my dad too our relationship was basically non-existent. Luckily at some point, he grew up enough to thank my stepdad for being there when he couldn't. I wouldn't be shocked if his daughter actually only wanted her stepdad to walk her down the aisle as he was her dad and only asking to be courteous to avoid this exact sort of shit.