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Am I Wrong To Pay Tribute To My Late Girlfriend Who Died On 9/11 Just Because I Have A Wife Now?

Am I Wrong To Pay Tribute To My Late Girlfriend Who Died On 9/11 Just Because I Have A Wife Now?

Reddit user u/InfamousCut7 asked everyone on Reddit if they considered him a bad guy for writing a heartfelt tribute to his late girlfriend.

From the latest news about trending topics to anonymous confessions, Reddit has it all. And in the wake of Patriot Day which is celebrated throughout the country on September 11, there is a post written by an anonymous Reddit user u/InfamousCut7celebrating the memory of a loved one who died during the 9/11 attacks.

The Redditor used the 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA) platform to narrate how his post honoring the memory of his ex-girlfriend put his marriage in a fix. 

Source: Getty Images

 

The post begins with him explaining how he "lost" his "late-girlfriend on 9/11" who worked on the "67th floor" at the Time Warner Center that collapsed.

Recalling further he wrote: I had no calls or texts from her, all I hope is that her last moments were painless and fearless. However, after having a "near-death accident", he realized the importance that family and friends play in one's life.

This year I suffered a near-death accident. After it, I did a lot of looking back on my life...and having lost family and friends in tragic ways I decided to stop taking things for granted and began cherishing the people I am close with, he wrote. 

Source: Getty Images

 

Naturally, he decided to pay tribute to his late ex-girlfriend through his Facebook account. Describing the post, he wrote: So for this year, I posted a tribute for my late-girlfriend onto my FB. It was just 4 pictures (1 of her, 2 of us holding hands/hugging, and 1 of us in her office when she first got hired).

Furthermore, he explains how the pictures "wasn't too over-romantic," however he mentions writing, "I'll always miss you, and you will always be a big part of who I am. I hope you are proud of me."

Source: Getty Images

 

Now, the person he didn't think about while posting this tribute was his wife. Although his intentions were completely genuine, his wife wouldn't hear a word of it.

A few hours later though my wife texted me and was furious, continued reading the post. She went on to question the foundation of their marriage. She asked if I loved her or if I wanted to get a divorce. She told me it was a slap her in her face to post my ex onto my FB, wrote InfamousCut7.

He then specified how much he loves his wife writing: Of course I love my wife more than anything, and my intentions were not to harm her in anyway, so I felt guilty and took down the post.

The user had to remove this post from his Facebook account but he could not help but question if what he did was wrong or not.

Concluding the post, the Redditor wrote: Was I out of line here? I genuinely didn't mean to hurt my wife, I just wanted people to know what a great person my late-GF was.

Source: Getty Images

 

Here's what others thought. @Findlesthehuman wrote: YTA but very gently. Hear me out. As someone who has also lost a significant other, I totally understand where you're coming from. She was a big part of your life for a time, and those events obviously shaped you into who you are today. I'm sure you think of her often. It's entirely possible to fully love your wife, and still miss your ex. That said, I think you could've worded your post differently to be just a bit more sensitive to your wife. Something along the lines of "remembering you today" rather than "I will always miss you" would've relayed the same sentiment, without making your wife feel like you're pining after a past love.

Another user @obeehunter agreed to the same and wrote: There's also the added fact that this is on FB. Now you're adding other people's reactions to the mix. "Oh look what John posted! Wow, his poor wife must be so embarrassed!"

Source: Reddit

 

However, Ella0508 disagreed and felt that InfamousCut7 did nothing wrong by posting this on his Facebook account. The comment read: I disagree. Very gently. My husband died. People who want to be in the life of someone who has gone through the most devastating loss — in terms of the breadth of effect on our lives — need to put insecurities and petty needs aside and allow us to express our love for someone who can never come back into our lives. OP absolutely has to improve his communication and make all assurances to his wife, but saying “I will always miss you” is totally reasonable. OP would say the same about his wife if she dies before he does.

Source: Reddit

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