"They are who they are, and they were fine when you married them, so don't expect them to change," said the 49-year-old actress.
Apart from being the highest-paid television actress, Ellen Pompeo known for keeping a low profile when it comes to her personal life. Although it is the limelight that gets her paid $20 million per year for her work, she tries her best to shield her family away from the constant microscope of scrutiny. And when it comes to her marriage with Bostonite music producer Chris Ivery, both have made sure to keep it private.
According to PEOPLE, the lovebirds managed to keep their life low-key when they first met in 20003. Speaking to the outlet in 2006, Pompeo described one of the most beautiful days spend with her then-boyfriend, now-husband, Ivery which proves the same. "We walked on the beach, then we came home, took a shower and went out for sushi. Then we laid on the couch with the dogs and watched TV."
She then went on to explain how the two met through mutual friends in Los Angeles, however, they didn't start dating right away. "We were friends for six months; then one night she just looked different to me," said Ivery. As it turns out, both grew up just minutes away from each other outside Pompeo and never once did they cross paths. "We were six degrees our whole lives, so I feel like we were sort of meant to be," said the Grey's Anatomy actress, adding, "We’ll get married eventually, secretly."
And the pair lived up to this promise when they tied the knot in 2007. They chose to get married at New York City Hall, without any guests or decorations. During an interview with Ryan Seacrest and Kelly Ripa, Pompeo revealed that their marriage was officiated by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and in the presence of one witness, First Deputy Mayor Patricia Harris, as she was "dying for privacy." Finally, they were able to have their big day "to ourselves" which was their plan all along!
The 49-year-old has learned a great deal about marriage ever since then. Being in a happy marriage for 12 years is no piece of cake and she didn't shy away from revealing a few tips for the same. During a podcast In Case You Missed Us, Pompeo told Us Weekly how the foundation of marriage is really about accepting each other the way your partner. "Just don't try to change people," she said. "They are who they are, and they were fine when you married them, so don't expect them to change.
The couple was blessed parenthood after their first daughter, Stella Luna was born in 2009, followed by Sienna May in 2014, and Eli Christopher in 2016. And if you take a glance at the actress' Instagram bio you will understand just how much she adores her little munchkins. Personal Assistant to Stella Luna, Sienna May and Eli Christopher, it reads.
Being a successful artist in the showbiz attracts a lot of attention and drags with it some issues with men being intimidated by a powerful woman. Although Pompeo has quite a bit of experience with that, she counts herself lucky as her husband is surely not one of them. Speaking to PEOPLE magazine, she revealed, "My husband is not at all intimidated by my drive, or my bossiness. I never thought I’d be at the height of my career at 48 years old. I’m at the top of my game, with no end in sight."
She further added how "it’s really important for men to be on board," when they want women to be successful. Pompeo revealed another secret of their long-lasting marriage- communication. "I have a tendency to be a little bit bossy just because I’m juggling so many things," she said. "He’s really good about letting me know when I’m talking to him like an employee. Occasionally, I get told ‘I don’t work for you, don’t speak to me like that,’ which is okay. I need to hear it if I’m not coming correct."
"My husband can’t multitask," says the hit ABC series actress about her husband's strengths and weaknesses. "That’s why I have an assistant, two nannies and two housekeepers. I’m lucky enough to be able to afford all this stuff. I don’t ask him to do it because he’d have a f—— meltdown. The poor guy can only handle so much." She explains how the two aren't built the same way. "They’re just not built the same way, and we can’t expect them to be built like us, they’re not," she said. "You know that book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? I think that is the most accurate depiction that’s ever been published.."