This is when the time you spend together becomes all the more special. A little alone time for your partner and you is one of the best ways to make your relationship solid.
You love spending time with your partner. You cook for them, take them out on epic dates, plan crazy trips, cuddle up with them after a crazy day and talk to them about how annoying Paul is in your office. You two are almost never apart but then small things that they do start to bug you and both of you start to fight about things that you never used to fight about before.
Before you know it, the honeymoon phase is over and both of you just want to give up. But there’s a way to avoid that breakdown – by taking some time for yourself without your partner.
There should be disclaimer alert every time you enter into a relationship – ‘Warning! Spending all your free time with your partner will exhaust you. Burnout time for this relationship is x months.’ But fortunately or unfortunately, we don’t get that disclaimer and we go through the whole process every time.
So in order to avoid that messy pain and heartbreak, it’s important that not all your free time is spent with your partner. Here are 7 reasons why you need some alone time when you’re in a relationship.
Your partner loves to leave their shoes next to the couch or has a habit of keeping the guacamole outside. You’ve tried so much – you’ve told them that the room will stink or the guac will go rotten. You’ve even tried the last-ditch attempt of mentioning the powers-that-be watching everything. Nothing has worked. All of this while being with your partner all the time. But spend some time on your own and away from them, and you’re going to miss those shoes near the couch (I don't suggest leaving the guacamole out – that could cause a set of problems best left untouched).
All those little habits that annoyed you before are now ones that you really miss giving you a whole new appreciation and level of love for your partner.
Sounds self-obsessed but fear not! You’re not about to turn into a textbook narcissist. Loving yourself is an important way to make your relationship more fulfilling.
Think about it this way - if you had a partner who was constantly jealous or projecting their insecurities onto you, the relationship could get very strained very fast. So if you don’t want to be ‘that’ person, it’s important that you love yourself first and stay comfortable in your skin. When your partner does the same, the results will be tremendous.
Sometimes you just need to switch off and reboot your entire mind and body (Yes, metaphoric because then you won’t be able to click the ‘I’m not a robot’ security check). Being with your partner all the time might not allow you to do that peacefully because you’ll have to deal with the emotions and feelings of another person. One wrong word and you could end up exploding like Bomb from Angry Birds – not a great look for either of you. So take some alone time and use that chance to do the things you like or go where you want to go to unwind. Then come back to your partner with a fresh look and fresher mind.
‘You complete me’ is a romantic saying but you are a whole person which means that you are not with your partner because you ‘need’ them but because you ‘want’ them. It’s easy to forget this sometimes when you’re caught up in the whole romance of it all but spending time away from your partner will allow you to look at yourself and remember that you are an individual who has their own interests, friends, things to do and places to go.
Go out, have some fun with your friends, go for a walk on your own, or even curl up and read some books. It’ll guarantee your individuality and make sure that you don’t become dependent on your partner all the time. Trust me, they’ll enjoy it too.
‘Attention! Calling all partners! I haven’t seen you for a while which means that I need to talk. So I need all ears and eyes on me for the next how much ever time!’ When you’ve been on your own for some time, it means you also haven’t shared stuff about your life that you generally only tell them about.
With a little bit of alone time, when you finally come together again, you’ll have so much more to talk about with them. The next few hours, days, weeks will ensure that you will have their undivided attention for that much time and you can spill the beans on your work life and personal life.
Imagine this, you haven’t seen your partner in a few days and you’re feeling a little lonely. Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door and with a blah mood, you open it. But instead of a random person standing on your doorstep, you find your partner standing with a bucket of KFC chicken and a large pizza (because chocolate and roses are so cliché and your relationship is more than a cliché). Your blah mood just turned tables and now you’re ready for some Netflix and chill.
It’s important to take some time away from your partner so that you can surprise or be surprised by them. It keeps the romance alive and it gives both of you some time to think about yourselves. Even moments as small as this will become more special and both of you will treasure them for longer.
One of the most important things about your relationship is understanding that you both have different interests. A little alone time goes a long way in giving you the opportunity to follow your interests without forcing your partner to do the same. So if you like horse-riding and your partner is someone who drops a bomb in their pants around horses, then it’s best to go for a ride on your own without forcing them to. Then your partner is more likely to exclude you from their paintball outings if you’re not a fan of it.
A little alone time is not a bad thing and if anything, it will enhance your relationship. When you balance doing things together with things to do alone, your relationship will become more fulfilling and it will show that both of you have a mutual respect and understanding of the kind of people you are. This will ensure that your relationship will last longer and healthier than most other relationships. So go and enjoy a little 'Me' time.