Looking for Mr.Right is tough especially when you have to go through a ton of Mr. Wrongs. But do we really need to look for them or do we need to look within ourselves?
We go through life looking for that one person who is going to understand us, love us, challenge us or maybe even conk us over the head when we’re being unreasonable and then proceed to tackle us in a bear hug. We end up meeting the weird ones, the controlling ones, the ones who are nice-but-too-nice ones, the best-friends-that-don’t –work-out ones, the-almost-ones, and even the arranged ones. But we know that none of them are right so we think that there’s something wrong with us if we end up with all the ones who aren’t wrong but aren’t the right ones either.
We get stuck in the wave and we still go into the dating pool thinking that maybe love is around the corner and will come to us if we wait long enough. Or some of us give up because we’ve had so many misses that maybe it just wasn’t meant for us. Or maybe, it had nothing to do with looking for that person and more about letting them come to us.
Maybe, it was more about you completing yourself more than waiting for someone else to complete you. And maybe once you did complete yourself, the right one came to you, also completed so that both of you could embrace the healthy and fulfilling relationship both of you would have.
Here are some signs that you are truly ready for ‘The One’.
How will someone be able to make you feel worthless if you are confident about who you are?
When you gain that kind of trust in yourself, the hundreds of ‘wrong ones’ that attempt to enter your life can never make you feel anything but who you are because you know that you will never give them the power to hurt you or belittle you. But the ‘right one’ will come along and understand that you are your own person and will respect that. In fact, they will respect you for being confident and sticking to your beliefs no matter what others say.
Change is scary and we like to remain in our bubble because it’s safe. So we tend to look for people who can help us stay in that bubble and most times, we end up getting hurt. Just because we don’t want to move out of that safe zone, we allow the ‘wrong one’ to take charge and give us what we want. But then, your confidence takes over and you become less scared of trying or experiencing new things. When you take up those challenges, chances are, the ‘right one’ will also be doing those same things and will be more than ready to create some new memories with you.
It doesn’t matter whether they’re your family or your friends, toxic people come in all relationships and disguises, always ready to bring us down. Being ready to take the risks that allow us to experience new things, you know it’s time to cut that toxicity out of your life for good. So you say goodbye, no matter how hard it is to do so, and you move on to greener pastures where your life is not clouded by the negativity.
Once you’ve done that, you’ve now sent the Universe the signal that you are ready to invite some goodness into your life and voila! The ‘right person’ is on their way to you and much faster considering they don’t have to wade through the murky waters of toxicity that surrounded you like a moat before.
Part of a relationship is being able to take care of things. But how often have you taken care of your partner more than yourself? A healthy relationship requires both people to be able to take care of themselves without forgoing each other’s needs. But in order to do that, you need to know how to take good care of yourself.
If you can be self-sufficient and handle everything from your financial matters to even something as simple as going to the grocery store on your own, then you’re more likely to be ready to find someone who can take care of their own needs as well so that the relationship you form with them will be one where you can properly focus on each other.
Oh boy! Without inner peace, you’re chances of attracting people who just want you for what you can offer and not just you, is much higher. You achieved that inner peace by letting go of some of your control and allowing yourself to go with the flow. By forgiving yourself for any choices or regrets you made, you can actually forgive others and be free of grudges, resentment and any negativity that you are bringing onto yourself.
However, at the same time, you have also realized that you don’t have to be that ball of positivity to achieve it, though you are calm and peaceful enough to enjoy what life has to offer.
Loving yourself isn’t easy. It means having to look inside you, see your flaws and weakness and accept them. It means needing the courage to embrace those flaws and take a step to change yourself to be a person you know you’d be proud of. It means needing the willpower to not buckle down if anyone says that you’re not worth loving.
But once you look at those flaws and accept them as a part of you, change those weaknesses and feel satisfied that you know who you are, it means you’ve already started to love yourself. The ‘right one’ will be drawn to you when they know that you have the power to truly love them because you already truly love yourself.
Waiting for the ‘right one’ will take time and will take a toll on you, but only if you allow yourself to believe that. When you are confident, at peace and love yourself, the wait is a lot shorter because your search, or rather lack of it, is a lot less broad. It means that the Universe will place that neon arrow right over your head just for your ‘right one’. So be patient and love yourself, everything else will fall into place.