How do we be thankful for what we don't want? It's hard to be thankful when things don't go your way but acceptance and positivity through the ordeal builds a stronger self.
We're always grateful for what we have, however, have we been grateful for what we don't have or want? It seems like you're asking too much from someone when you ask them to be grateful for the bad things in their life, well, according to them anyway. The phrase 'Everything happens for a reason' has always rung true as there's a reason for all the good and bad things that happen in your life.
Think of all the bad things in your life as lessons or obstacles which will bear fruit much later into the future. Not many people agree with the idea of delayed gratification but it's always better in the bigger picture.
The world is unfair and harsh where anything can happen at any time, so it's essential to be grateful regardless of how unfortunate your situation may be at the moment. We see the world in two choices - black or white and good or bad but have we really considered the third option where we're just grateful regardless of the outcome. People are always on the run to gain immediate satisfaction and it's reached its peak in the 21st century. People love the idea of taking the road MOST traveled, rather than the one which has been used less.
However, this is consciously done to secure themselves and reduce the threat that comes their way. It's the same when it comes to making judgments about people, you either take them as good or bad, which are the same tags you receive for yourself as well. Eventually applying these global judgments to yourself can impact your happiness, well-being, and health.
Here are 4 secrets to reaching a place in life where you can be grateful for whatever circumstance you're faced with in life.
We automatically process information as and when we get it without pausing to ask the what if's and what not's. However, if you take the time to slow down and go through a situation or choice, you'll have a better understanding of how you can judge it. Instead of seeing the situation in black or white, try to look at it from a different perspective.
It's easy to go with the flow and immediately decide whether something's good or bad but have you ever paused to think of an alternative reason for why something is the way it is? Assumptions are normally taken from past experiences and used to close the gap about something we're not sure of. Sometimes you might be faced with something that guarantees happiness but it's essential to pause and ask yourself 'What really brings you happiness?'
You might think that comparisons are made to demotivate or demoralize the way you normally do things. However, it could also be grounds for improving yourself and creating better opportunities. According to Thorton & Arrowood, 1966, comparing yourself with a person who's better than you was bound to have a positive impact more than a negative one.
Being realistic is good because you tend to keep your expectations low, which eventually leads to feeling happier when you realize something has gone beyond your expectations, however, maintaining an optimistic attitude tends to make a person happier and healthier in the long run. People who are optimistic don't have to necessarily be accurate, however, they are far more relaxed and happier in comparison. Winston Churchill once said, "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
When you have learned to acknowledge these gifts, you'll be able to be more accepting and open to different ways of dealing with any situation that come your way. You'll be able to choose how you want to deal with a situation and who you can be during this time. These gifts are not meant to ignore the difficulty or complexity of a situation, rather it gives you a better perspective on how to tackle and embrace it. The world will throw different obstacles your way but learning how to have a nuanced way of thinking will broaden the way you think and act towards people and situations.
The nuanced way of thinking will go beyond judging the situation to be good or bad, giving you a third option which is more neutral and unbiased. This will eventually allow you to be more grateful regardless of any situation you're thrown into. You'll be stronger amidst difficult times and more resilient to negativity.
According to Psychology Today, "Gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what one has—as opposed to, for instance, a consumer-driven emphasis on what one wants or thinks they need."