You may think that narcisists are not as scary as they may sem but they've got a toxic sense of control over people that can grow into something ugly.
It's easy to get trapped under a narcissist's spell where their charm and confidence lures people faster than a moth to a flame. Most people don't realize the power narcists have on people until they come face to face with one. The red flags pipe up once you spend time with a narcissist and experience what they truly are. Narcissists have a heightened sense of superiority and entitlement, belittling all those who fall under their eye.
"The main point to keep in mind is that you can't always tell you're dating a narcissist - because they're experts at concealing their true colors until they have you," clinical psychologist Candace V. Love told Business Insider. You won't get to know a narcissist for their true colors until you're completely involved with them within a friendship and relationship alike. A narcissist can bring you emotional hell if you don't recognize their true colors earlier on.
The initial stage with a narcissist almost looks magical where they sweep you off your feet with their charm and passion. Your relationship will look like the most stable one you've ever had initially until subtle signs start cropping up. They will use the 'lovebomb' technique on you, where you'll eventually develop a dangerous emotional dependence from the constant affection and praise they shower on you. They would have most likely got you twisted round their finger where you'll go through any lengths for them.
However, once they're sure about the hold they have on you, all hell breaks loose. You'll begin to see their superior and self-absorbed image emerge in conversations, trying to seek attention and validation from people. You are past the initial stage where they talk more about themselves more often rather than including you in their conversations. Narcissists will drive you to the extent of apologizing for things you're not responsible for, while they happily watch you get unhinged. Here are the 3 most dangerous gameplays narcissists use on you, leaving you crushed and lost.
The initial stage would involve them putting you on a pedestal and praising your existence. However, once the phase passes, they'll undermine your worth and will turn cold. They'll eventually start comparing you with other people, making you question whether you were good enough for them in the first place. It won't be too far along when criticism starts coming your way, pushing you to change everything about you for them.
They make you believe that you're the reason for everything wrong that's happening in the relationship, going as far as to call you needy and dependent. They show sporadic mood changes where they're loving and affectionate initially and then just as quickly switch to stonewalling and ignoring you. They may mean the world to you but the relationship is completely different to them.
Narcissists are master manipulators in getting their way in a relationship, where they make you look like the person who's responsible for everything that has gone wrong. They'll push you over the edge without your knowledge, leaving you lost and confused. When you bring up things that bother you, he'll turn it against you, making you feel inadequate.
They'll start projecting your fears and make you convinced that you're the cause of everything that went wrong. They'll use your emotions against you, making you look emotionally unstable and dependant. They make you believe that you're the reason behind the neediness, claims, and questions raised in a relationship. You start taking responsibility for your partner's wrongdoings and eventually start looking like the needy partner that they claim you to be.
Narcissists make you feel like you're never enough for them. They start picking on the tiny details and make them look exaggerated in your eyes. Even a confident person can make you feel inadequate about your achievements and perception of self. They bring down your worth and often at times demoralize you in front of everyone.
They'll go out of their way to make you feel like you need to work on yourself and not in a positive way. They find it amusing to always keep you on your toes regarding their feelings towards you. It's almost always a game to them, whereas it might be more important to you. They intentionally bring a third person into the equation, making you compete with them for his attention. Your desperation will come across as a clear sign that they've accomplished their task.
The only way to end the cycle is to end the relationship with them. You may feel like you can beat your partner at their game but they'll always come up on to you, playing your weaknesses. The thought of changing them would've at some point crossed your mind, however, narcissists are wired a certain way and there's no changing the way they play their game.