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10 Signs You're In A Relationship With An Emotional Vampire

10 Signs You're In A Relationship With An Emotional Vampire

You need to recognize the signs as early as you can so that you can take the necessary steps to make sure that you don't bear the brunt of an emotional vampire.

Relationships aren't always easy. They take a lot of work to maintain it the way it was when you started off.  At first, both of you are new, and you are just getting used to having one another in your life. There's a reason why the first six months of your relationship is called the 'honeymoon period'. After a while, you get used to the other person, and both of you begin to adapt to each other's mannerisms because as a couple, you are one. But problems begin to arise when both of you are in your comfort zone, and at ease with each other. You're used to them, and suddenly you may or may not find everything they do to be cute or practical.


 
 
 
 
 
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You or your significant other (SO) is bound to run into problems, either with work or your respective families. But, do you feel like you are the only one paying attention to your SO's problems, but you feel like they're ignoring your problems and only giving importance to theirs? Does it make you feel tired and drained all the time because you're trying so hard to be there for them, but they don't do that for you in return? Chances are, you're in a relationship with an emotional vampire. Here are some signs:

1. You feel controlled 


 
 
 
 
 
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Are you constantly questioned where you're going and who you're going with, and what time you will return? Does your significant other keeps tabs on your whereabouts? Then you're in an emotionally abusive relationship. It's one thing to volunteer the information and it's quite another when your significant other demands it from you. This kind of accusatory questioning when you step out will take a toll on you, and soon you might find yourself lying and hiding things from them which is not done in a relationship and is a dealbreaker. You might even start second-guessing every decision you take.

2. You always end up taking the blame 


 
 
 
 
 
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Are you constantly blamed for things that go wrong in the relationship no matter how big or small the problem is? Instead of communicating respectfully with each other and solving the problem, you find yourself always on the short end of the stick, then you are probably in a relationship with an emotional vampire. They are experts at deflecting the issue at hand and squarely lay the blame on you even when it is not your fault. If you find this happening more often than not, then it's time for you to rethink your decision to stay in the relationship.

3. You and your partner are always fighting 


 
 
 
 
 
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It's perfectly normal and healthy even when couples have fights when differences arise. However, if you find that every conversation with your partner turns into a screaming match, then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. You find yourself on the backfoot and no amount of trying to reason with them seems to solve the problem at hand. And as a result, you find yourself wasting your time and energy on someone that doesn't want to understand where you are coming from. Eventually, it will make you feel drained and ruin your mood. 

4. You're always self-conscious 


 
 
 
 
 
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If you always feel like you're doubting yourself, be it with something you do or something you wear, and if it's because you fear what your partner might say about it, then chances are, your partner is an emotional vampire. There are a few types of emotional vampires out there and one of them is the criticizer. This kind of vampire will belittle you always to make sure they feel superior to you. You need to understand that people who constantly criticize you are doing it is because they need to feel better about themselves, and this is the only way they know how to do so. 

5. You feel like your partner always dominates the conversation 


 
 
 
 
 
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Your partner might be someone who always steers the conversation towards them, and they could also be someone who will cause a scene in public if you decide to do something that they don't like, and they most likely will be okay with having complete strangers giving you the side eye, thanks to the commotion your partner has caused in public.  Even when it's just the two of you, your partner never really gives you the chance to talk about yourself or about your achievements; because it's always got to be about them, and that is very emotionally draining to just listen and not speak.

6. Your partner always seems to have some kind of crisis 


 
 
 
 
 
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Does your partner have a tendency to make a mountain out of a molehill all the time? Emotional vampires thrive on being in a crisis because it means the attention is always on them. Which in turn makes it a difficult situation for you because your energy is being drained trying to solve their problems. Instead of them solving it on their own in a calm and rational manner. 

7. Your partner does not listen to you 


 
 
 
 
 
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When in a relationship with an emotional vampire, your need and problems are never addressed. Instead, it is trivialized as something as "you're imagining it" or "you're overreacting". However, the same does not hold true for them. Emotional vampires have an uncanny knack of creating a sense of helplessness in you, so much so that you begin to doubt yourself and give them the power to call the shots because you feel that they are always right

8. You're always in a bad mood 


 
 
 
 
 
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Your professional and personal lives seem to merge and become one, no matter how hard you try and separate them. Your mood seems to be a constant one where you're always in a bad one. It's okay if it's a one-off thing, but if it happens more than often, then you might want to take a step back and reassess the situation, and figure out if you truly want to be in this sort of situation.

9. You feel like you're walking on eggshells


 
 
 
 
 
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Relationships are built on mutual trust and respect, and where one feels comfortable and safe to express themselves. But if you find yourself stopping or restraining yourself from speaking out, and constantly walking on eggshells for fear of incurring the wrath of your significant other, then you need to rethink your relationship. Trying to please your partner and maintain such a fragile relationship is taxing both mentally and emotionally. Seek help from a friend or a therapist to get a better perspective. You could even try and have a conversation with your partner, but if it fails, the best thing to do is to walk away as you deserve better.

10. You feel physically exhausted 


 
 
 
 
 
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Because of all this, you're just so tired all the time. You seem to find no interest in going out with your friends, or go to the movies. All you want to do is be left alone so you can crawl into bed and sleep. This feeling of being tired all the time is not going to go away that easy. Even if you finally decide that you deserve better and move on from the emotional vampire in your life, it is going to take you some time to heal and go back to being your normal self. 

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