The man asked Reddit if he was an a**hole for doing it.
Relationships can be extremely complicated. Take the case of this man who recounted how his girlfriend got jealous of an ex who died due to a horrible mishap. Writing on the AITA (AmITheA**hole) subreddit, the man recounted how the ex got in a terrible car accident that left her comatose. "She received over 20 injuries (lacerated liver, broken ribs, punctured lung, bruised lung, left foot torn off, just to name a few). She had to be flown to the city to receive treatment," the man wrote. His ex, whom he called Anna (not her real name), had to be kept on a ventilator but never regained consciousness. While devastated, he was ready to see her through the ordeal and visited her for months at the hospital, something he said that left him "drained." One day, her parents told him to move on since there was no hope of her coming back.
"Her parents eventually told me (in a very kind way) that she would want me to find someone new and that I shouldn't let this be the end of my 'dating career' (I am 20yo). So after a lot of therapy and reaffirming my belief and faith in God, I put myself back out there. I eventually met a new girl who I loved (Katie), and I saw a lot of traits in her that I saw in my ex," he said. But his love for Anna did not diminish. Sometime later, Anna's parents decided it was time to put her off the life support. The man said he was "extremely upset" with the decision initially. But later he stated it would have been what she wanted. "Katie knew about Anna and it was no surprise to her I wanted to be there when she was taken off life support. When I got there, I kissed Anna's forehead, ran my hands through her hair, and told her I loved her," he wrote.
He added, "After the doctors removed her tube, it was extremely emotional for all the family and me. I kissed her again (on her lips, and just whispered again "I love you)." A funeral was held for Anna and was attended by the man and his girlfriend. But things didn't go too well for the couple after. "At the funeral I gave her a eulogy (which Katie attended) and told Anna again 'I love you.' After the funeral, Katie was angry with me. She asked what I meant when I said 'I love you, Anna.' Then I told her about the kiss because I felt guilty. Now, Katie is now super pissed at me." Things just went from bad to worse and Katie decided to move out of their home. "She is staying with her parents and said I cheated on her. This was not my intention at all though, I just wanted Anna to know (if she was even conscious) that I loved her, and would see her again," he wrote.
What do you think? Was this Redditor the a**hole?
He added, "The kiss was not 'romantic' or 'sexual', it was just a final goodbye, I wanted more than to just touch her hand once last time." He asked Redditors if he was really the one at fault here. Many commented he was not although there were those who also felt for Katie. Magicalunicorny wrote: Absolutely nta, but I kinda feel it, she probably feels like a replacement. Another named Yeshellothisis wrote: NAH. You got into a relationship with Katie when you weren’t ready. You aren’t wrong to grieve, to love Anna, or to want to kiss her goodbye, but Katie is a person and her feelings matter too. Becoming her boyfriend was like making a promise you knew you couldn’t keep. I wouldn’t say you cheated but the fact that you are basically dating her because she reminds you of your ex - not cool.